The Situation

I know, I know, I rarely post. I am just so busy managing humans I can barely find time to relax, much less time to post to my blog.

I did want to share a recent situation that I had to deal with…

My female human was sitting around with this – a little plate of apples and almond butter:

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I LOVE apples and I LOVE almond butter. Selfishly the female human was eating them in front of me and not sharing.

So I had to implement the SCHNAUZER STARE:

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In addition to the stare, I have an intimidation/human management technique where I shift my weight side to side and clear my throat (in case she is not noticing the burning glare of my stare).

It worked and before I knew it I had experienced a taste of both apple and almond butter.

But I wanted more and had to implement the stare again:

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I think my female human could have saved herself and me a lot of time if she had just made me my own plate!

Suspicious Schnauzer Quilt Coziness

My adopted brother Mike, who loves quilts, has discovered a new way to get cozy in a handmade quilt made by one of our humans (my female and male human, both who I manage, make quilts for Mike and I to stay cozy in).

Here is a quilt covering my female human as she sat on the sofa (my sofa) and read a book:

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But the quilt holds a secret occupant:

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My female human was all snuggled in the quilt, engrossed in her book, when she noticed some movement going on in the corner of the quilt at the floor and then a schnauzer sigh of contentment and the movement stopped.

She peeked under the quilt and discovered this:

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My crazy brother Mike was snuggled inside. I think he just does stuff like this because my humans think it is so cute and he is trying to get attention. I better keep an eye on him because I do not want him taking over as the lead on managing humans!

I am the only Manager the humans need!

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Mike & Pillows

My adopted brother Mike, loves pillows. He is obsessed with pillows. He tries to sleep with the humans on their pillows and can be found lounging in the living room with his head on pillows.

He has a little doggy pillow that my female human actually made my male human as a joke. When her nephew Austin was a baby, her sister-in-law asked if she could make a little pillow and pillow case for Austin. My female human made a CAT themed pillow case because her brother’s family is into cats (ick, what is wrong with these people?!?!).

Well my male human thought the pillow was adorable, so my female human made a   a dog themed one (more acceptable!) for male human.

Then Mike stole the pillow and claimed it for his own!

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Rabid Schnau

Oh my goodness, I just discovered my Rabies vaccination expires this week and my humans forgot to set up a vet appointment for me to get revaccinated.

Do they want a “Rabid Schnau”?!?!?!  Do they want me to turn into “Schnaujo” (the miniature schnauzer version of Stephen King’s Cujo)?

They will be sorry that they did not keep up on my vaccinations when I am drooling at the mouth and have them cornered and fearing for their lives!

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On the verge of becoming rabid.

This omission was discovered when they received a notice from our county’s dog licensing bureau for my license renewal (I guess I have maintain a license for being exceptional cute) which requested a current copy of my rabies vaccination.

No worries my humans are going to make a vet appointment ASAP for me to get vaccinated this upcoming week.

Good thing, I would hate for you all the read in the news:

CENTRAL OREGON COUPLE MAULED BY RABID MINIATURE SCHNAUZER

 

Pull Out the Calculator?

I have not posted in a while as I have been busy managing humans. It takes most of my energy these days, between staying on guard against marauding kitties and suspicious delivery drivers.

The other day I was having a little slowness getting from the floor to my vantage spot at the front window and my two humans looked at each other and the female human said: “You know we adopted Sassy from rescue when she was 8.5 years old and we have had her for 5 years, so she is approximately 13.5 now.”

My male human replied: “That would make her like 91 years old”. My female human gasped and said, “well she is doing pretty well for 91 years old”.

I was wondering how my male human came up with this number. I had heard that humans use a factor of 7 people years for every year of a dog’s life. So 13.5 x 7 = 94.5 (I instructed my female human to use a calculator to get this number).

I asked my female human to check if this was accurate and she found an article on the American Kennel Club’s website – How to Calculate Dog Years to Human Years.

And it states:
As a general guideline, though, the American Veterinary Medical Association breaks it down like this:

  • 15 human years equals the first year of a medium-sized dog’s life.
  • Year two for a dog equals about nine years for a human.
  • And after that, each human year would be approximately five years for a dog.

Using the above info my age would be calculated as 15 + 9 + (11.5 x 5) = 81.5 years old in human years!

See I am not that old after all! Silly humans just using 7 years for the estimate, good thing  I insisted they do further research! This is why I can still easily go on my 2 mile walk with my humans each morning.

Let me close this post with a photo of my adopted brother Mike and I keeping watch for the marauding kitties and suspicious delivery drivers infesting the neighborhood:

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Feature photo credit: Paige Foster, free images.com

 

Human Storage?

I am trying to figure out this “airport” thing…

Is it a place where humans store other humans for a couple days and then go pick them up?

Last week drove my female human to this place called the “airport”. My male human of course drove the car as my legs could not reach the accelerator and brake…and honestly, I do not know how to drive nor do I have interest in learning.

We left my female human at this airport place and then in a couple days later we picked her up. We have done this several times and I am not sure why we send my female human to this airport place to obviously stay at for a couple days. Why doesn’t she want to be home with me being properly managed?

What does she do at this airport place after we drop her off? Is she playing with other dogs or even (gasp) some horrid cat?!?!

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Roberts Field, the strange airport place we drop her off for storage

I suspect my male human is just storing her there for a couple days. Humans are so weird!

Shoe Kingdom

My humans found me asleep this way and felt they had to take a photo…

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They were sitting on the sofa and had deposited both of their slippers/shoes in the same location, and was able to create a SHOE KINGDOM!