This was originally posted 11/11/2013 on tierneycreates.com.
Did the title of this week’s post make all you human nervous? It should. However it seems like many of you support the plans I will discuss in a moment.
14 of you have responded so far to the poll: Should dogs rule the world? 7 of you agree that the world would better run by dogs; 1 of you does not agree; and 6 of you are unable to make up your mind, which means I can easily sway you to our cause. Miniature schnauzers have an uncanny ability to sway humans to their wishes. (Note: this poll is now located on the Home page of this blog if you would like to take it)
Making Plans/Plotting our Strategy
This is why my miniature schnauzers friends and I are moving forward with our plans for world domination. In the photo below, I am leading a meeting with my (adopted) brother Snickers, and our friend Jose to map our strategy. My brother and I already have control over the humans we live with and I think we can get a message through the miniature schnauzer network to get their humans under the same control. Eventually we can spread our plan to the entire “domesticated” canine community. As a last resort we might even consider recruiting some cats (ick) to help us. Cats appear to really have humans under their paws.
Our Simple Demands
You humans can slow the progress towards canine domination if you meet a few of our simple demands:
- Enough with the leashes, we want to walk where we want to walk, when we want to walk there, and sniff wherever we please
- When we need to be petted or scratched, you will need to do so until your hand goes numb and only then may you stop (maybe)
- Dog food? We don’t care about organic dog food and all that crap. We want what YOU are eating. So if you are having a nice meatloaf and mashed potatoes dinner as your meal, then that is the same meal that should also be in our bowl
- If you do not make quilts or afghans then you learn immediately how to make them or find a connection to get many of them as possible for your house. Quilts and afghans are the natural habitat of miniature schnauzers, we cannot properly relax without these basic life necessities
I end my post for this week with these above demands, do not consider them too lightly, Sassy